I finally called Mom's closest and dearest friend and proposed an outing. We've been in touch on and off since Mom died, but I seem to collapse into tears every time I see her or we talk because she makes me think so much of Mom. But I decided to do it anyway, despite raw emotions.Husband, Daughter and I picked her up and went to a restaurant that was one of Mom's favorites. We had soup and sandwiches and yummy dessert and coffee, but mostly we had good conversation and laughter.
Nothing special, just chatting about church, and what was in the paper, and the rest of the family, and of course, the Phillies. And it did make me tear up and miss Mom horribly. But it also made me so happy to be with someone who shared Mom's history, someone who could tell Mom stories, someone who had been a part of my life forever. And once we got past the sadness, there was pure delight, and I liked it a lot.
She said it meant a lot to her to have something to do, to get out, so we're probably going to do it once a month from here on out. We might pretend we're doing it for her, but I know my motivation is selfish. This will be a gift to me, and I think it will be a welcome new routine. Mom would be tickled.
*not my photo nor my food.....but it looks pretty good!
7 comments:
Sweetness, pure and simple. And, you know...every time you do something like this, it'll get easier.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend. :) And I'll email you soon!
Wonderful step for you. I think this week being with my Mom and getting ready to celebrate her 80th birthday have made me miss my Dad so very much. Bittersweet but wonderful all the memories.
Baby steps..... dee dee
I know just what you mean, dear Friend. I experience the same healing when I meet with Gayle’s daughter. It is a salve for our bruised and tender hearts. Gayle would have been 66 on 10/10/10. She used to love when I shared your words from your blog about Sparkle with her.
I'm so glad you had a delightful time and I am sure it comforted your mother's friend, as well. A real blessing all the way around.
I will be having my tea in your Mom's cup in a few minutes and will be thinking kind thoughts of you both. Have a delicious day!
Blessings, Tee
So good you could do this--as you said, good for you and good for your mom's friend. A blessing to her I'd think.
I believe there is a special relationship with those "once removed"--i.e. those who are close to our loved ones. Like I have a special bond with my sister's friends, my mother's friends, my husband's friends ... you know, we all love the same person. Am I making sense?
Tonight I am writing a letter from my mom to her group of friends --they have a round robin letter. She doesn't feel up to it and the letter needs to keep moving. I feel like I can pretty well speak for her, I know her so well ... and I want her friends to know what's up with her.
After my mom died, I made a couple of out of town visits to get to better know my mother's best childhood friend. She was a wealth of information and helped me see my mother in a whole new light.She filled in some blanks I don't think my mother ever could have filled in for herself. They are both gone now, but I am grateful for the opportunity.
Just checking in to let you know I still have your blog bookmarked, and when you do start blogging again, I will be happy to read your posts. I'm thinking of you this season, because I know the first Christmas after the loss of a loved one is really hard.
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